why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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