After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
