Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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