We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
