that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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