we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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