...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
