Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
