im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
