Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
