The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
