Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need to align my fucking chakras
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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