Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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