My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
