We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
