my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
