My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
