my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
