At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
