from now on my penis is your penis
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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