I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
