I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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