Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
