oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
