funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
