nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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