East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
