I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
