just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
