Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Randomize
