just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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