dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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