Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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