i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
