He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
