I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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