it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
