did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't turn off my feet"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
