i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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