I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
