I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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