put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
