You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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