He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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