I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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