Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
