strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
