we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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