Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
