my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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