He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
